just needed to vent a little

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that is pretty much what i am feeling right about now. im just...pissed. it was sort of-not sort of, it was-triggered by sarah and bryce. i met bryce on line, we became close then he had this accident and couldn't remember me. and since i couldn't talk to him right away, sarah thought it'd be just this fabulous idea if she started talking to him. without even asking me. its not like im possessive. i don't think he's 'mine' or anything, just she didn't even ask me if it'd be okay with me if she did or if it hurt me just slightly that he couldn't remember me, and she was going to go and get close to him like was. but its not like i wouldn't have said yes, but it is still nice to be flipping asked once in a while. and its like, now they are all buddy-buddy and it bugs me like HELL.
and if feels, to me, like being betrayed, or something. i know i wasn't. i know that. but its like, nothing can be JUST mine, anymore? is every special thing in my life forced to be shared with someone??? can nothing be JUST mine???
and another thing, whenever sarah and i talk, it feels like she always makes her problems seem greater or more improtant than mine. sure, what your going through is a tough break, but that doesn't make my issues or probelms any less important. and its not like im not happy to listen to them, i really want to, but she, subconciously, im sure, makes me feel like crap whenever i start talking about MY lame probelms.
and i don't know. im just really really frustrated right now, and feel like i need to blast loud, angry music and scream along with it.
i keep things inside, and its not good. these are such little issues to have with your best friend, but i hate confrontation, and even worse, i hate fighting. and i don't want to fight my best friend, whom i love dearly. so, in short, that is why im writing this right now.

and sarah, if you read this in the near/far future? sorry, just needed to vent a little.

always,
allison

ps. good news? i figured out this week that i need to stop closing myself to things im afraid of (as in CW, btw).