author on the rise

Well, I HAVE MY BOOK!!!
It is so amazing. I am an AUTHOR. Me! And people were so excited, that we're are going to have to order more!!!! and my brain is just going wild with dreams, and hopes for the future and everyone is like, "When you become famous, i'll say i have an original copy!"
that made me feel so special, and hoping that i WILL become famous for the future.

CW and i talked a bit on Fri, but i haven't really talked to him all that much. I have a lot of things about him, but it occurs to me that if he somehow gets this adress, he can just read all of it, so yea, for now, until i feel like no one will read it, i'm going to keep it down to

YES I STILL LIKE HIM.

always,

Allison

PS. I'm now talkng to this perfect guy named Bryce who is confusing the CRAP out of me!!!

:S

crazy stuff

wow. im getting my book published!!! im getting ten copies to give to whoever i so choose!! :D you have no idea how excited i am. its like a crazy dream come true. sure i would like it to be published for real, but you have to start somewhere, right? and i think this is my begining as an author.



anyways. sarah got "frustrated" at me yesterday for being all "self pity party" again. which i wasnt' doing, i really wasn't trying for the pity, but whatever.

well i guess that's it for now...

always,

allison

you can try....but they don't come down easy

I've just been thinking about stuff. Like well, i don't really want to say it. Ugh. This is crazy. I don't even know why i'm writing this right now. You know, if he typed in the right adress, he could seriously just read everything, which is CRAZY.
Great, now I'm worried...lol, well not really laughing, more like a tense giggle. TG. that's more of what i mean when i write lol.
Anyways. i just....there are so many things i guess. i mean, im finally just letting go and letting things happen. i know that doesn't make any sense, but if you think about it, it really really does. im finally learning-and not just the saying, but its MEANING-'let go, let flow'. things happen for a reason, and im going to embrace it.
its so weird to me to think that i guess anyone could just read this. that would be rude if they knew me. even though im putting everything out on the internet to read for the whole freaking world, but here it is. have at it..........
anyways-agai-like i was saying, there are just so many things i could say. and i just wish, i just wish i knew. i wish i DID know what was going to happen, what others were thinking...it sure would make life a whole lot easier if i did.
i read Sarah's blog. she said that for some reason i don't think he could EVER like me....and she's right, but the reason is, is i just don't want to loose him. and so, i think about what if i DID and it scares me. i don't know what'd id freaking do, which scares me even more.
but the thing im mostly worried about is, sure he likes me, but im scared not as much as i obvously like him. i even turn to stupid chance to tell answer the questions only he could obvously answer.
but mostly......what will i do??????????

let go.....let flow.....


always,

allison <3

"when you love someone, you can tell.....when you're IN love with someone....everyone else can tell"

pretty much the quote of this whole damned blog. ;)

lieing with a passion

yeah. Christian was a liar, he just wanted "sexy" pictures of me to yeah......

here are a few sayings that i've come up with that are inspired by a certain someone:

"At the same time you love the feelings, you hate them because of how you feel when they are not around to make you feel them."
"You are only limited to...what you limit yourself to."
"Is is weird that i feel like i can tell him ANYTHING? And he doesn't even know...."
"I just want him to be the happiest he can be.....even if that means he's not wth me....."

well there you have it <3

Always,

Allison