Stress and Regress

I feel like sometimes I'm pushing people away. I don't mean to, I just....I feel so overwhelmed sometimes, and I hate it, and I just can't handle dealing with personalities and people. It gets too much. I need it to all just....stop. always, Allison

Short blurb

Just remember:

Driving is a privilage, not a right. It is a great responsibility; one that should be taken smartly, and with caution. Let's try to prevent the next unneccessary, careless accident.
Pay attention.
Because some mistakes, you just can't reverse.

always,
allison

PS My thoughts are with the Jackson family...and ecspeically the kids who all lost a father in a car accident a few days ago <3

my Soul through Song Lyrics...typical.

I figured out exactly what song Shiloh should listen to. It's called "Stop Standing there" by Avril lavigne. It's amazingly accurate. I'll post the lyrics on here:

All this talking to you
I don't know what I'm to do
I don't know where you stand
What's inside of your head
All this thinking of you
Is that what your doing to
You're always on my mind
I talk about you all the time

Chorus: Don't waste another day
Don't waste another minute
I cannot wait to see your face
Just show how much I'm in it
So open up your heart
Help me understand
Please tell me who you are
So I could show you who I am

You're just standing by
You're just wasting time
Why don't you just tell me the truth
about me and you
And as the time goes by
I hope you realize
If you ask me to
I just might be with you

So don't waste another day
Don't waste another minute
I cannot wait to see your face
Just to show how much I'm in it
So open up your heart
Help me understand P
lease tell me who you are
So I could show you who I am

Bridge: Stop Standing there, standing there
And stop acting like you don't care
And stop being scared, being scared
Stop acting like you don't care..

So, don't waste another day
Don't waste another minute
I cannot wait to see your face
Just to show how much I'm in it
So open up your heart
Help me understand
Please tell me who you are
So I could show you who I am
So, don't waste another day
Don't waste another minute
I cannot wait to see your face
Just to show how much I'm in it
Open up your heart
Help me understand
Please tell me who you are
So I could show you who I am
Who I am, who I am, who I am..

This seriously doesn't get more freaking accurate. 'nough said.]

always,
Allison

I was going to pick my favorite quote, but i couldn't decide between them:

"I don't know where you stand...what's inside of your head?"
"You're always on my mind, i talk about you all of the time."
"I hope you realize if you asked me to i just might be with you."
"So open up your heart, help me understand, just tell me who you are, so i can show you who i am." <3

New Year, New Problems, New Things to Avoid

I guess it's safe to say that I'm not too into the whole "recording everything and anything that happens" thing. It's just...I don't know. It's hard to find a need for it any more. Before, I felt like I needed to get the words out of me, so that maybe, I wouldn't be holding on to them so much any more. But I don't really feel the need to write them done any more, becasue I really don't have much to tell. I guess, boys wise. Cause, really, I'm kind of giving up. I mean, I know exactly what I want, but I don't think I have found it yet. But then again I don't want to be too picky cause no guy is going to live up to my high, unreasonable standards or whatever. I guess all I really want is:
-someone generally happy--and not a fake happy, either. Like a genuine love of life, and just having that easygoing nature about them. But they don't have to be happy ALL the time. We're just human, after
-someone who will talk, and keep a good, actual conversation going, but knows how to LISTEN as well. Also, they don't feel the need to fill every silence. They can't talk TOO much, either.
-someone more adventourous then me, but is a home-body at heart so that they will show me and introduce me to things i wouldn't have done perviously, but likes to be home at the end of the day, relaxing.
-someone who doesn't MIND being alone, but like me, likes to be around people too
-someone not too emotional, or romantic or lovey. It just makes me naceous

I think that that's pretty much it. At least, all I can think of at the moment. But I really hope that the things that I want in someone aren't, you know, unreasonable, or too high of standards, cause I really don't think they are. The most important to me, currently, is the first--about him being easy going, kind of just genereally happy. I want someone who will LIFT my mood, make me feel like laughing. Someone who will play around and joke with me. I guess I want a combo guy bestfriend/flirt buddy :P


Right now, I don't really LIKE anyone, but I do have some potentials. This just means, like, they've "caught my eye" and I want to get to know them better:
-Shiloh (explained previously)
-Chris (ditto)
-Romell (goes to my karate, super sweet, and fun-loving...he's only like, fifteen, though...and a freshman, which makes him OUT until we're out of college haha)
-Gabe (he's in my art class, kind of quiet, but funny and awesome. But he's a sophomore...probably fifteen or so)

yeah those are "The Potentials" at the moment. But they are all sort of "undesirable" in some way whether their age, or just the situation by which I know them (ahem, Shiloh)

He confuses me, Shiloh. I really don't understand it at all. Him, why I like, just everything. I mean, yesterday I saw him, and he tied my red-black belt for me at the ceremony, and i just...ughhh I don't know.
I dont' get it, and the more I think about it, the more it drives me insane.

I guess that's it for now...

always,
Allison

"Maybe I ignore you,
Maybe I avoid you,
Maybe I can't speak when you're around,
cause Maybe I adore you,
And maybe I want you,
And maybe I'm afraid of what I'll do,
Cause I can't control myself around you...
maybe just maybe
maybe yes maybe..."

<3 can you guess who I wrote this about??