I guess it's safe to say that I'm not too into the whole "recording everything and anything that happens" thing. It's just...I don't know. It's hard to find a need for it any more. Before, I felt like I needed to get the words out of me, so that maybe, I wouldn't be holding on to them so much any more. But I don't really feel the need to write them done any more, becasue I really don't have much to tell. I guess, boys wise. Cause, really, I'm kind of giving up. I mean, I know exactly what I want, but I don't think I have found it yet. But then again I don't want to be too picky cause no guy is going to live up to my high, unreasonable standards or whatever. I guess all I really want is:
-someone generally happy--and not a fake happy, either. Like a genuine love of life, and just having that easygoing nature about them. But they don't have to be happy ALL the time. We're just human, after
-someone who will talk, and keep a good, actual conversation going, but knows how to LISTEN as well. Also, they don't feel the need to fill every silence. They can't talk TOO much, either.
-someone more adventourous then me, but is a home-body at heart so that they will show me and introduce me to things i wouldn't have done perviously, but likes to be home at the end of the day, relaxing.
-someone who doesn't MIND being alone, but like me, likes to be around people too
-someone not too emotional, or romantic or lovey. It just makes me naceous
I think that that's pretty much it. At least, all I can think of at the moment. But I really hope that the things that I want in someone aren't, you know, unreasonable, or too high of standards, cause I really don't think they are. The most important to me, currently, is the first--about him being easy going, kind of just genereally happy. I want someone who will LIFT my mood, make me feel like laughing. Someone who will play around and joke with me. I guess I want a combo guy bestfriend/flirt buddy :P
Right now, I don't really LIKE anyone, but I do have some potentials. This just means, like, they've "caught my eye" and I want to get to know them better:
-Shiloh (explained previously)
-Chris (ditto)
-Romell (goes to my karate, super sweet, and fun-loving...he's only like, fifteen, though...and a freshman, which makes him OUT until we're out of college haha)
-Gabe (he's in my art class, kind of quiet, but funny and awesome. But he's a sophomore...probably fifteen or so)
yeah those are "The Potentials" at the moment. But they are all sort of "undesirable" in some way whether their age, or just the situation by which I know them (ahem, Shiloh)
He confuses me, Shiloh. I really don't understand it at all. Him, why I like, just everything. I mean, yesterday I saw him, and he tied my red-black belt for me at the ceremony, and i just...ughhh I don't know.
I dont' get it, and the more I think about it, the more it drives me insane.
I guess that's it for now...
always,
Allison
"Maybe I ignore you,
Maybe I avoid you,
Maybe I can't speak when you're around,
cause Maybe I adore you,
And maybe I want you,
And maybe I'm afraid of what I'll do,
Cause I can't control myself around you...
maybe just maybe
maybe yes maybe..."
<3 can you guess who I wrote this about??
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