Still not sure what i'm doin at the moment with the Curtis issue, and the Derek issue.
However--i don't know why--i have this future fantasy that when i'm in college, i'll meet this great guy, who is funny, and sweet, and yeahhh...i feel embarrassed just writing it cause i have this whole thing in my head. Ieeven have a name. It's sort of sad, but its keeping me going, and my faith in guys for some reason, cause i believe he's out there. I even know what he'll look like. It's sort of a mix of a couple guys i know, and yeah.......
Anyways. I don't know why i felt like writing that down.
It's so amazing to me that one day you could be completely in LOVE with someone, then the next...feel nothing at all. To be so smitten, and have so much hope and desire, then for it to just drop flat so fast..it makes me wonder if i'm just pushing my emotions down like i always used to around him. Maybe that's why i'm still bothered by the whole "not liking him anymore", thing? I don't know.
We'll see, I guess..
always,
Allison
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